英文的身份(Identity)一字,變源自意指『存在』的拉丁文(Essentitas),意指『重複』的拉丁文(Identidem)
你認為你是哪一種人?有時候習慣就是身份認同的具體化,越是重複某一種行為,就越強化那個行為與自身的連結,你每天鍛鍊,你就把你是『一個運動的人』的身份認同具體化了,當你知道你想成為的人,藉著良好的習慣,逐步堆積成為一種身份的具體化,事實上,英文的身份(Identity)一字,變源自意指『存在』的拉丁文(Essentitas),意指『重複』的拉丁文(Identidem)。身份的字面上的意義便是『重複的存在』。
在建立習慣一書中,變提到『最有自制力的人,通常是最少用到自制力的人。』與其乞求自己變成有紀律的人,不如打造一個更有紀律的環境!其最有效的方法,就是加入一個把你想要的行為視為常態的文化之中,因為所處的文化決定了你對何謂『正常』的期待,讓身邊圍繞著擁有你想要的習慣的人,你們將一起成長。
我們很大的行為在很大的程度,取決於我們對事件的客觀程度,一個人看著香菸充滿吸引,另一人卻心生厭惡,習慣的成因,其實就是行為發生前的預測,你可能把它理解成一種渴望、一種感覺、他們彙整成一種信號,你一直都在讀取提示,並且採取了行動。
一般來說,一個行為讓你得到越多立即愉悅,此行為越會被重視,反言之,帶來立即逞罰的行為會被避免,我們可以用延遲滿足來延長習慣,因為幾乎每個領域的成功,都需要你了未來的報償而忽視立即的獎賞,我們可以用習慣追蹤來延長此優良的習慣,有證據擺在眼前,就比較不容易自欺。
水可以讓馬鈴薯變軟,但會讓雞蛋變硬,你無法控制自己是馬鈴薯或雞蛋,但是如果可以選擇自己比較有利的環境,就能翻轉原本對你不利的環境,有效地選擇之後,身份認同可以富有彈性,而非脆弱,下面引用『道德經』的文字:
人之生也柔弱,其死也堅強
萬物草木之生也柔脆,其死也枯槁
故堅強者死之徒,柔弱者生之徒
是以兵強則不勝,木強則兵
強大之處,柔弱處上
─老子
統整一下建立習慣的秘訣:
把提示更顯而易見
讓習慣更具有吸引力
讓行動更輕而易舉
讓獎勵更令人滿足!
書中提到五種有效建立好習慣技巧範本,請點選連結,免費下載!
習慣記分卡範本
執行意向範本
習慣堆疊範本
習慣追蹤範本
習慣契約範本
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